As a new mom, you have a lot of dreams, goals and thoughts for your coming bundle of joy. You’re doing the research, you’re reading the books and you’re attending the classes. Pretty much everything you can do to prepare for your little one, you’re doing. But that still doesn’t stop everyone else from telling you everything they think you should be doing.

You know what they say: everyone has an opinion, and more often than not, they don’t mind sharing it with you. But when you’re pregnant, this is taken to a whole new level. Suddenly everyone around you becomes a pregnancy, birthing or parenting expert. “Have you heard about this trend?” they ask. “You really shouldn’t eat that,” they say. “Oh, well this is what we did,” they insist. Debbie Thompson, a pediatric nurse practitioner and neonatal specialist at Children’s Medical Center in Dallas, says, “There are so many people who want to direct you on how to be a good mom. Much of the advice is helpful, but a parent must remember that each child is unique.” While advice can definitely be helpful—especially for new mothers—too much advice tends to be more stressful than anything, making it difficult to respond very kindly.

Not only did you not ask for their opinions, but chances are you probably don’t want them, either. Suddenly you find yourself swimming in a sea of well-intentioned, but poorly executed advice. Luckily, there are ways to overcome the plethora of unwarranted pregnancy tips. Here’s how to weed out all unsolicited baby advice, from pregnancy to parenthood.

The first step in weeding through unsolicited pregnancy and parenting advice is by acknowledging where it comes from. More often than not, baby advice does have a positive origin; people genuinely want to help. If advice is coming from family members in particular—say yours or your significant other’s parents—they often want to be involved during the pregnancy and with the newborn, so they find giving advice is a great way to do so. For a new mom going through pregnancy or raising her little one, this can definitely be stressful, critical and often even annoying. Remembering the advice is well-intentioned, however, can help relax some annoyance.

Jennifer Hartstein, a psychologist at the Child and Family Institute at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City, says, “Babies bring out everyone’s compassionate side. Other people may see you struggling with certain parenting issues, and they feel it is their duty as experienced parents to help you out.” So, take a step back, breathe and choose to focus on the positive aspects of advice—this person cares about you or your child, and they want the best for both of you. Recognizing the intentions of the advice can help ease some of the annoyance or the sting of feeling criticized.

Once you recognize the well-meaningness in baby advice, be sure to keep an open mind. Sometimes we feel so defensive when someone questions our methods, we don’t actually consider anything they say. Doing this can cause us to miss out on some very important information we would have otherwise liked. So, keep an open mind. Actually listen and—if only for a second—consider what they have to say. The source can be especially influential. For instance, if your mother gives you pregnancy or parenting advice, that probably has a bit more weight than a random stranger on the street. Either way, detach yourself from the feeling of defensiveness, give it a second to think it over and decide whether or not this advice is actually worth considering.

If it is sound advice, great! Make a note of it, take it home and think it over. Check with your healthcare provider to see what he or she thinks as well. If you don’t agree with the advice, then learn how to perform the classic disarm with charm. Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies, says, “It’s always best to take the high road. Why should you let a stranger ruin your day?” Graciously and respectfully thank the person for the advice, then move on. Pull the ol’ “Oh boy I really do have to be somewhere,” or even better, “Thanks so much, I’ll think about it.” You can brush off the unwanted advice, and the other person can feel good about “helping.” It’s a win-win.

Going through pregnancy and parenthood is hard enough without everyone around you throwing unsolicited and even unwanted advice your way. Constantly being bombarded by advice can make a stressful season of life even more overwhelming. When weeding through the suggestion box, remember to take a breath and recognize that most advice is well-intentioned. Take a second to consider it, then either accept it or politely throw it out. Most importantly: your child is yours, and how you choose to go through pregnancy or parenthood is entirely up to you.